And I felt better right after I woke up, which is very rare for me. I think what really made it happen was: I was smoking a cig in the garage, drinking coffee with hazelnut creamer, looking through an LL Bean catalog, and there was Christmas music on the radio! Thank goodness for those kinds of moments. I looked up and realized that I wasn't feeling depressed.
Then I went back inside and remembered that the house is kind of messy, and if I have any chance of going to see Matt today, I better tidy up a little! But decided to come online for a while, since there's time.
My dreams weren't the best... parts of them were still nightmareish, but I don't feel like they're taking over my thoughts and feelings like normal. Maybe that's because, just before I woke up, I dreamt I was on the phone with Matt. He was requesting different kinds of clothes to bring him, such as a "Thin crust flannel hoodie"... which doesn't exist. And some kind of green, sparkly belly shirt. There were all kinds of animals in my yard at once. A raccoon, a skunk, my 2 kitties, wolves, and even a guinea pig who occasionally would be flying... without wings. What the hell.